I Fought My Best Friend today....

[Beoftw]

Was wondering if anyone out there could throw me a few words of advice. Today, a close friend of mine decided to dine and ditch, and leave me and three of my friends with the check. well after appologising to the owner, and paying for him, we go to his house, which he walked to, to ask him what his problem was. we knew he had money, and while going their he said that he didnt want to eat anything though, but he ended up eating and drinking. we called him before and asked him to pay us back if we payed for him, and he said no he wouldnt.

so we end up going to his house, to ask why he is mad at us, and to apologise.....so he comes barging out of his house with a pellet gun, and shoots me with a metal pellet.....so basically I threw him on the gorund and broke the gun in half. after confronting his parents as they pulled into the driveway, his mom apologised to us and aske him to come outside and explain himself, he simply walked out, told us to get the fuck out, and went back inside....

now hes a really old friend, and frankly, i dont wanna lose a good friend over a stupid fight like this. but i do have my honor, and i will not set it aside to comply with any issues he has. anyone have any suggestions?

[Michael]

Wow, that is crazy! Best advice I can give you is if you have a decent relationship with his mom or any other relatives-to come by one day when your friend is not home and talk to them. I know things are usually not so simple, but if you really want to salvage your relationship, try to find out if something is going on that you may not know about.

[Beoftw]

yea i spoke with his mother before i left, and she was pretty angry with him from what i could understand. she speaks english, but talks to him in chinese. she apolgoised to me, so i really have no idea what pissed him off so badly.

[Doomek]

He shot you with a pellet gun?

The kid fucking nuts? Sounds like somethings defiantly up, I really have no words of advice besides who the fuck in their right mind would shoot there "best friend" with a pellet gun?

Maybe hes doing drugs or something.

Dunno, you should know him best?

[Mr. White]

Something's up with him, something seriously affecting his emotional state (duh) so I would say carefully check it out, don't ask for an apology, don't force anything out of him, just approach him as a friend and make sure he knows you're on the same side.

[Vinay]

I'm with Gina and Mr. White on this one. Sounds like something's up. I'd go with an empathic approach.

[Chris]

Sorry to say, but he seems batshit crazy.


Just try and TALK to him.

[David Carsley-Bromilow]

If his mother didn't seem shocked, instead she was angry and this would only be as a result of expectation. From the sounds of it, it doesn't sound like she was willing to listen to his side of the story, and was instantly angry. To me, it sounds like it's his problem, something has happened and the events that later took place in the restaurant were due to what was playing on his mind. I'd give him some space. If he values you as that much of a friend, he will come back and explain himself to you. If not, it's simply not worth it.

[vic]

Maybe something was said while you were eating that made him snap because he was already upset (that could be why he said he wasn't going to eat and then ordering food after he got to the restaurant, as if he was irritated already). I'm sure there is some kind of issue there.

I'd talk to him without any other friends there and tell him how you've both been friends for such a long time, and that because you don't want to lose a good friend over this you would at least like to know what bothered him in case it was something you did so you could see if it's something you can fix (I'd avoid saying it's a "stupid" fight because he was obviously so upset, whatever reason it was, was not "stupid" to him and he'll become defensive trying to validate his reason/reaction.) If he doesn't want to give a reason then there is not much else you can do but let him know that you are willing to listen when he wants to talk about it, and that what happened was unfortunate (i.e. "stupid" :P) because you consider him a good friend.

[Cato Albertsen]

Im reading this: "but i do have my honor, and i will not set it aside to comply with any issues he has. anyone have any suggestions?" and im thinking: You cannot have been THAT good friends when you can say something like this, honor is pride, dont let your pride get infront of a friendship. Id talk to the guy, find out what is going on in his life. Something caused him to act like this. Either , he is just crazy. Or he has some issue and acted out because of it.

[Daniel]

in all fairness, he should be the one putting the work in to make things all "ok" again... still though, to make everything easier, imo - as most have said, have a quiet word, though i'd say nothing more than that you're willing to overlook all that happened the other night, that you want to talk it through and... to do what friends do i guess :) that if he's going through a rough spot, he needn't push everyone away, that you'd be happy to hear him out (that's assuming you would be ^^). that you don't want to be drift apart or become enemies of some kind, and would rather just add this little mishap to the list of "things to laugh at how stupid we were back then" come a year or more down the line ^^.... just letting him know you want to be friends, so long as in future he feels free to talk through his troubles, rather than letting them explode in a barrage of pellets and such ^^ because... they hurt!... right?

he seems to be the one in the wrong though, unless there's something really unstable about him right now, i'm sure he realises that too, hopefully just letting him know you're willing to forgive might see him open up a little, and make an effort to fix things himself.

to be honest, there does seem to be something... pretty screwed up in those upper regions of his right now ^^, so definitely with the "willing to be a friend + help" stuff, it's just getting that message across. if he's a mess, he'll probably just push you away again should you turn up at his door. i know this is usually seen as the "coward's" approach, though sending him a text message / email / (as mentioned) message via his mom or otherwise indirect means of contact... just, a message through which he won't be required to give instant feedback... a message he can consider a little, rather than being subject to all these silly emotions on the spot. if he's having trouble controlling himself, face to face contact may wind up just as it did last time :S but then it may not ^^ iiiii duno, 'sup to you hmm!

could be anything i guess... he was happy with the friendship you all had till now?? good luck through it all!

[toranga]

i wonder if its a matter of nationality or culture but i have fought all my best friends. (this all happened before i reached 20 though) What happens is after the fight motions are really tense and you need to give it a few day´s to cool, the one who won the fight has to appologise though.

No one of my friends has ever shot at me with a bb gun though.
But ditching without paying the bill is just asking for a confrontation imo.

[Beoftw]

not going to lie, i solve most of my petty fights that way. ever since growing up, me and most of my friends solve any awkward fights with a 3 minute spar. but usually, we dont consider anyone the winner, no matter who wins. after the fight is done, the argument is over no questions asked. this usually works for me. but this kid isnt exactly strong, and is mainly a quiet person. so i have no idea why hed freak out like this.