I Fought My Best Friend today....

[Beoftw]

Was wondering if anyone out there could throw me a few words of advice. Today, a close friend of mine decided to dine and ditch, and leave me and three of my friends with the check. well after appologising to the owner, and paying for him, we go to his house, which he walked to, to ask him what his problem was. we knew he had money, and while going their he said that he didnt want to eat anything though, but he ended up eating and drinking. we called him before and asked him to pay us back if we payed for him, and he said no he wouldnt.

so we end up going to his house, to ask why he is mad at us, and to apologise.....so he comes barging out of his house with a pellet gun, and shoots me with a metal pellet.....so basically I threw him on the gorund and broke the gun in half. after confronting his parents as they pulled into the driveway, his mom apologised to us and aske him to come outside and explain himself, he simply walked out, told us to get the fuck out, and went back inside....

now hes a really old friend, and frankly, i dont wanna lose a good friend over a stupid fight like this. but i do have my honor, and i will not set it aside to comply with any issues he has. anyone have any suggestions?

[Doctor Badtouch]

In China (mainland anyway) it's customary for one person to pay for everyone. This is seen as a privilege, and it's routinely argued upon over who will pay. Comparing this to western style bill-splitting could be seen as Equality vs Ego Boosting or Stinginess vs Generosity, depending on your perspective and where you were raised.

It seems there was something he was upset over when he was at the restaurant, not necessarily even relating to you or your friends. You should have called him or talked to him 1 on 1 rather than involving others.

When you went to his home to confront him about not paying a bill, you made him lose face, likely in front of your friends, and his family. You seem quite concerned about your honor when in fact you have shit upon his.

The only remedy this is to give him face... invite him to lunch (you pay), with no mention of the unfortunate events. He will know why you are paying.

I must apologize, much of this is based upon an assumption that traditional Chinese culture is influencing his actions. It would be useful to know how long he has lived outside of China.

Good luck, and try to keep an open mind. There are many worlds on this planet.

[Beoftw]

well he was born in the states, and to be honest he doesnt enjoy his culture at all. he really doesnt hold any respect for other cultures as well. but hes an old friend, and weve never really had this kind of trouble before. hell, we even played tennis earlier that day and had a great time. so relaly, i have no idea whats got him so riled up as to do this.

[Xavier]

Give it a bit time, he might have some serious problem trough his head.

Ask him later face to face, alone.
Good luck dude.

[Beoftw]

thanks for all the great advice guys, i think im going to wait a few days, and try callin him to see whats up. i mean, i understand what some of you were saying about turning the other cheek, but i dont think i can do that, at least not in that way. i believe he should be mature enough to handle this like a man, and if he wants to act like a child about it then i guess old friends mean nothing.

now im not going to hold this against him, hell im not even mad at him. but again, im not going to go up to him and beg him to listen and apologise. but this is very very weird of him, hes a very quiet person, and weve never had such a stupid argument like this before, especially with physicall contact envolved. i really dont know though, i think waiting a few days is a good idea, and maybe calling him up to say whatsup and see if hes still angry at me and my friends. ugh this is complicated.