when you just cant get someone

[mons10]

im getting kinda mad because there is this girl i realy like. i have done everything right and stuff but she just wont like me back. she only want to be friends but i just get sader and sader how do i overcome the pain?

[mons10]

i should maybe put this on self dev but it is kinda to latei think

[The Dutch Nick]

Hmm, give up.

And believe me when I say this comes from personal experience. You will get hammered down. As stupid and cliche as it may sound, the faster you stop it the less it'll hurt.

[Jeremy Hanson]

If you are hurt by someone who doesn't want anything more than friendship you need help. Seriously, that isn't normal.

[mons10]

but i tryed to get here to like me i just asked what to do now since it just doesnt work

[Jeremy Hanson]

Attraction is something that happens naturally. It comes from the subconscious part of the brain that identifies qualities in people that trigger emotional responses. Looks, personality, scent, ect, is all processed by the subconscious part of the brain, and then we come to a conscious decision about whether or not we are attracted to someone.

If you are attracted to her, but she isn't attracted to you, then you can't expect that to change. If you have developed feelings beyond physical attraction for this person, then you need to talk to someone about it and try to work through those feelings in order to come to an understanding that you need to back off and just respect her wishes.

I say this, because your feelings might be a sign of an underlying mental illness, and it is best to seek help for that before you do something that might be tragic.

[mons10]

wow! man that was very clever said thank you i think i should try. thanks for the help

[spd.szabi]

To be honest i had this situation a couple of times in my past, it never made it to a working friendship. Now I'm not saying that it is impossible but in my experience it is a way to heavy factor to deal with for the one who feels attraction. You will find this person unreachable, and it may hurt and slowly destruct your self esteem, experiencing denial from time to time. Attraction and friendship is two things which are separated by a cliff in my opinion. Be aware that the behavior of self alters in a big way and lacks logic or reason when you are with the person. Its an animalistic thing to be attracted to someone while your only thought is 'how am i gonna get her'. When you are together it may create the deception that this is in someway good for you, but the fact is that rejection will get you down with a powerful blow and keep you there if you don't leave its scene. Believe me that it is one of the most painful feelings that exist. (I still remember my wounds.)

[mons10]

well i am not to sure what to do but i thikn o should just keep away from here in a while and wait and see

[mons10]

sry with the type Os

[Samee Latif]

"I say this, because your feelings might be a sign of an underlying mental illness, and it is best to seek help for that before you do something that might be tragic."

It is not at all unnatural to be hurt by rejection, and I'm surprised your attempt to act as if you know anything about mental illness hasn't come across as extremely offensive and judgmental.

[Maral]

It takes two to tango.
The sooner you realise the easier it is on yourself.
She's not interested in you, if you keep holding on to this it might even ruin the friendship you two have.
If you really like her thats probably not something you'd like happening.
It's never easy and it takes time but you will get over her. As long as you truly want to get over her.
If you don't want to let go you'll only hurt yourself (and possibly your friendship.).


So my question for you is, are you willing to let go and move on?
Be honest with yourself, think rationally and be clear-headed.
Don't let emotions take over, they are only temporary after all. :3

[mons10]

well I dont think I will answear every reply i get. I want you to keep writing so that I can gather them and see what is the best thing to do.